We’ve all heard it before—that well-intentioned phrase from dog owners as their energetic pup bounds towards another dog: “It’s OK, he only wants to play!”, when it’s actually inappropriate dog play behaviour.
But is it really OK? As a professional dog trainer, I witness daily how misunderstanding can lead to stressful situations for many dogs and their guardians.
When “Play” Isn’t Play
Just today, I was walking a lovely dog who suffers from arthritis and elbow dysplasia. She’s a dream to walk—doesn’t bother anyone and simply wants to sniff around and enjoy lying in water. Her idea of a perfect walk is calm, gentle, and pain-free.
As soon as we left the car park, an adolescent large breed dog bombarded her. My dog tried to escape but was too slow due to her condition. She was giving off numerous polite “please leave me alone” signals that the young dog, like many adolescents, simply didn’t understand.
The most frustrating part? The guardian kept repeating, “It’s OK, she just wants to play…” even after I kindly explained that my dog didn’t want to play and that I’d rather she not be bothered due to her arthritis. Sadly, the message didn’t seem to register.
The Consequences of Forced Interactions
Since when did it become acceptable to let your dog overwhelm another, whether they’re healthy or not?
When boisterous dogs try to engage calmer dogs, several negative outcomes occur:
- The calmer dog experiences stress and anxiety that can build over time into fear of all dogs
- The boisterous dog gets reinforced for inappropriate dog play behaviour, making them more likely to repeat it
- The energetic dog may be told off by the other dog. This is unfair to the dog wanting to be left alone as sometimes even if they shout, the other dog isn’t listening. The other dog may even respond negatively by being told off and cause a very negative experience for both of them.
Think of it this way: You wouldn’t let a teenager wrestle a smaller child to the ground. You would guide them and teach them what play is appropriate. The same principle applies to our dogs.
The Definition of True Play
Let’s be clear: If play isn’t mutually enjoyed, it isn’t play!
Just like humans, dogs have individual personalities, preferences, and communication styles. Some dogs love rough-and-tumble play, while others prefer gentle interaction or no interaction at all with unfamiliar dogs.
As responsible guardians, we need to guide our dogs and help them learn what’s appropriate. If you can’t control your dog whilst they’re off lead, then keep them on a lead or long line for safety reasons and to prevent them from practising unwanted behaviours.
Practical Tips for Guardians of Boisterous Dogs
If your dog is very energetic, young, bouncy, or plays inappropriately with others, here are some helpful strategies:
- If you call your dog and they don’t respond, go and get them. When dogs are focused, they often can’t hear us—they aren’t being naughty; they’re just zoned in. By repeatedly calling their name without follow-through, you’re just making their name sound like white noise. Once you reach your dog, put them on the lead, play scent games with them, give them a treat, or run around with them. Make being with you more rewarding than ignoring you.
- Practise recall daily. Put consistent effort into training your dog. If you struggle with this fundamental skill, consider booking a 1:1 session where I can help develop a reliable recall tailored to your specific dog.
- Choose walking locations strategically. Opt for areas where you have good visibility all around so you can prevent unwanted encounters before they happen.
- Select playmates wisely. Match energy levels and similar styles of play for successful interactions.
- Understand your breed’s needs. Different breeds have different exercise and mental stimulation requirements. Give your dog appropriate and specific outlets for their natural drives.
- If something does happen, react quickly and apologise sincerely. When people are stressed, a genuine “sorry” can make them feel much better and de-escalate the situation.
Reading Canine Body Language
Every dog has their own personality and preferences when it comes to interactions with others, and that’s perfectly OK. However, it’s essential to become skilled at reading all dogs’ body language, not just your own pet’s.
If a dog displays any of these signs, they’re likely not interested in interaction:
- Appears elderly or moving stiffly
- Shows nervous behaviour
- Has their tail tucked
- Is trying to move away
- Turns their head away repeatedly
- Freezes when approached
- Lifts a paw
- Licks their lips frequently
When you notice these signals in another dog, simply put your dog on a lead until they have passed by. This small courtesy makes a world of difference.
Need Help Understanding Canine Communication?
If you struggle with reading other dogs’ body language or controlling your dog’s interactions, I’m here to help. I offer personalised 1:1 training sessions where I can:
- Help you understand subtle canine communication signals
- Develop appropriate greeting protocols for your dog
- Improve your dog’s recall and impulse control
- Create strategies for successful walks
Book a 1:1 session today to not only improve your dog’s behaviour but also contribute to more positive experiences for all dogs in our community.
Contact me at:
- Email: Info@emmasanimals.co.uk
- Website: www.emmasanimals.co.uk
Remember, responsible dog ownership isn’t just about keeping your dog happy—it’s about ensuring all dogs can enjoy their walks without interference, including inappropriate dog play behaviour.